Be There for Yourself !!!

A funny thing happened this morning. I began thinking about all the people that I’ve been there for – friends, family, co-workers that I gave, not only the gift of my presence, but also the contribution of my participation. I cried with them. I rejoiced and laughed with them. I thought about these people and I became angry.

Now before you assume the direction of my anger, know this; I was not angry with them for their neglect, indifference, lack of concern, thoughtlessness shown toward me. I was mad with myself for my own neglect, indifference, lack of concern, thoughtlessness that I had shown over the years to myself. Out of the people I have managed to have been there for; somehow I had overlooked my self. The times I’ve should have been there front and center cheering my self on; I hoped and prayed that someone else would arrive to give me validation for my achievements or soothe me during the hour of my failure.

Shame on me!!!

The other day I told a co-worker that I was considering, now that I’ve lost weight, becoming a personal trainer. She became hysterical. It took minutes before she could compose herself. I felt hurt, then angry. I even told my personal trainer that I would show her by achieving my this goal. I had gone from bad to worse. But just this morning, as I looked at pictures taken of my weight loss journey, I didn’t see her image in a single photo.

Then why was I looking for her to show up now for the rest of my journey.
I've decided that if anyone is going to be absent from my life, that person will no longer be me. I’ve got to be there in mind, body, and spirit for me.

I been scared and battered.
My hopes the wind done scattered.
Snow has friz me,
Sun has baked me,

Looks like between 'em they done
Tried to make me

Stop laughin', stop lovin', stop livin'--
But I don't care!
I'm still here
~Langston Hughes

The word for today - Be there for your self!!!