A Year in Review: Trying to Remember

“For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.”

Not wishing to take this scripture out of context; but the phrasing seems to fit where I am right now. I look at clothes that I used to wear still hanging in the closet, pictures of my former body frame that still hang on the wall, and medicine bottles that rest unopened still sitting on the bathroom shelf; through all this I have to remind myself daily of the man I once was.

Among strangers, I find myself suddenly welcomed, accepted, even liked. Among friends, I find myself alienated, betrayed, envied. I am often accused of having changed. This is an accusation that until recently I have denied. But I have changed. I can’t say for the better; I can’t say for the worse – just changed. A church member asked me one day for the reason that I shaved my mustache. I quickly, yet simply replied, “I didn’t need it anymore.” Believe me; I am still pondering that answer myself.

A lot was lost with the extra fat.